Yellow Wood

I have a lot of thoughts that I want to share on my close friends' list but I feel conscious of spreading negativitea so I shall process a lil here since there is lesser traffic here I don't want to turn this blog into a rant though haiz (I don't even remember when was the last time I felt the need to rant) so my goals for this post (and perhaps the next of its kind) is to clarify, seek possibilities, and stay accountable 4 days in and every time I think or talk about my work-life my tears just come out, this is the part where I worry for my mental health HAHA I am hesitant to the excited question "hows your work" even when my friends show interest and curiosity. Now I'm guessing subconsciously I might have been trying to avoid confronting this side of myself  Ok I started this article thinking that I am finally ready to talk about it But it seems that Im not yet ready ahhh Nevertheless, here is my attempt: Worklife is threatening my faith in humanity and trus...

Not sure if this reflection came too early but here's a quick reflection about the past 3 days of navigating the vast ocean before I go to bed (aka end my day) because I tried to process some big feelings with Cai Wei who is also in the industry. I'm so grateful to her wisdom, through this convo I emerged more hopeful and assured and ready to slay and eat and leave no crumbs. Ok, maybe not the eating part cuz my appetite has been bipolar the last 3 days and I think it's highly likely gonna swing to the 'lack of appetite' pole. On the first day, I felt super hungry and I had to infiltrate the pantry for more food. This was like me eating more as a practicum student at LSH where I always scoop a full lunch box + snacks. And then on day 2 it dawned on me that I have to do a lot of work as an official teacher and that I am accountable for the interests of 24 lives. The sample size of 2 days might not be representative but indeed concerning; I lost more and more appetite...